Advice to New Parents

Your child is beautiful child.

As a parent with 20 years of mistakes under my belt, I can offer you my best wishes, hopes and very little advice:

• Love your child.  Your number 1 job is to love your child
• Time with them shows them that you love them.  "Gifts and toys" can't make up that difference.  
• Love their Mom or Dad. 
• Children learn by example.  My Mom would say "little pictures have big ears."
• Discipline only in love.  Never discipline them when you're angry.
• Be "one" as parents.  Children will play 'Divide and Conquer' pitting one parent against another.  Never undercut his Mom or Dad. And if either of you undercut the other (trust me-you will), never discuss it in front of the child.
• Have a sense of humor.  In the early 1960's, Art Linkletter once had a show called Kids Say The Darndest Things.  It's true.  Go with it and laugh. 
• EXCEPTION:  Never laugh at (bad) unacceptable behavior, no matter how funny it is (actions speak louder than words and laughter is an action that signals acceptance/approval).
• Kids need boundaries.  Set rules and be consistent and constant.
• Enjoy the adventure.  You're now a parent, so relax and look for the good and discourage the bad.
• Help them find themselves.  Your child will naturally have talents that can transfer to a vocation.  Help and encourage them to find a place in the world that uses their natural talents in their future.

I hope these thoughts encourage you.  This is a stage of life that you "never get through" - ONCE A PARENT, FOREVER A PARENT.  You always want the best for them.  But remember, your "best wishes" for their lives probably won't be their best wishes (hopes and dreams).  Don't "impose" your will or wishes on them.  Just keep them from hurting or killing themselves or others

Find a true friend who is a parent and ask them for advice or just to listen, when you need to vent.

If I could do this (and I NEVER wanted the responsibility of being a parent), you can do this (probably with greater success than I've had).  They will change your life - for the better.

Finally, believe it or not, the time is fleeting.  Make the most of the time you have.  One moment you're carrying them home after their birth and it seems that suddenly:

• They're walking, 
• They're talking, 
• They're learning, 
• They're going off to school, 
• They're graduating, choosing a career, 
• They're getting a job
• They're finding the partner that puts the stars in their eyes, 
• They're getting married
• They're making their own nest, 
• They're mastering what they do for money and 
• They're having their own children

Although your being a parent is never over and it looks overwhelming, you can get through it.  Each stage is a challenge physically, emotionally and mentally.  You will think this is the hardest thing I've ever done.  Then you will graduate to another harder task.  Take comfort in what you just achieved and brace yourself for the next step.  You'll make it.  It will have changed your life - for the better.